How Fear of Fellow Girl-Bosses Can Hold You Back (& How To Overcome It!)

 
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Definition: Girl Boss (Noun)

A Girl Boss is someone who has big dreams and is willing to work hard for them. Being a Girl Boss is really about being the boss of your own life. You don’t have to be the boss of anyone else to be a Girl Boss. It’s about keeping personal responsibility for your future, being comfortable taking risks, and understanding that failure is the byproduct of your own invention
— Sophia Amoruso (#GIRLBOSS Author & Founder of Nasty Gal)

Stepping into any new industry or role is scary. With the rise of the “girl boss” taking the business world by storm, confident and powerful women who have this whole entrepreneur-thing sussed, it’s easy to find yourself both excited and fearful when putting yourself out there and taking your first leap into running your own business. I’ll let you into a secret... I was scared of you. Yes, you, a fellow female entrepreneur. I compared myself to other girl bosses which made me question my ability and drastically lose confidence. It’s something that happens daily to female entrepreneurs like yourself, which is why I wanted to share with you how I stopped comparing myself and why fearing girl bosses was doing nothing but hold me back...


It’s a Journey, Not a Race

When I looked at someone in my niche, or even just in business who had more experience, I would berate myself. I was judging my beginning by someone else’s middle. It didn’t occur to me that while we may be on similar professional paths, we are at different points on a journey. While I was assessing their position on the road, I was standing still. This comparison would put me in a mindset of self-defeat, and I was stuck in a cycle of negativity. Nothing good can breed in such an atmosphere; how can progress be made if we spend our energy on judging what we are not doing, and ignoring our triumphs? We all look up to people, but it’s important to do this in a healthy way. The people you look up to have been exactly where you are now.

What to do: Accept where you are, and use others who are further ahead of you to support your strategy rather than compare yourself to them. Team up, ask them for guidance and to mentor you. They were in your position once. Allow yourself to be a beginner, no one starts off being excellent. Find the community of girl bosses that support you, encourage you and inspire you. Join a Facebook group, a Twitter chat or a forum that allows you to input as well as listen. Don’t be afraid of silly ideas. 

 
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“The Fear”

Fear is paralysing. You can’t move ahead on the road while stuck in fear; it’s as dense as concrete. That’s not to say it will ever go away completely, we’re human after all. The best way to deal with it, is to channel it. Look back at where you’ve come from and pat yourself on the back, look forward to where you want to go, then channel that fear into moving your feet. Embrace the fear, it means that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t matter if you fail, failure is just learning what doesn’t work and allowing you to move forward to try something new. Avoid taking too long, letting fear build up, instead go for it - it’s never as scary as it initially seems. 

What to do: Break down what you have to do into manageable steps and objectives. Keep a list of what you have achieved so far, somewhere you can refer back to when fear hits you again. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” - Martin Luther King

 
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No One Does ‘You’ Like You

This was a big ‘aha’ moment for me. I have different goals, work in a slightly different way and achieve different things to everyone else. I am unique, and so are you. Instead of focussing on what we’re not, we need to focus on what we are, who we are, and be the best ‘us’ we can possibly be.

What to do: Identify what sets you apart, what you want to aim for, how you like to do things, what ignites the passion inside you. Take time to consider your strengths and practise saying them out loud. “Just be yourself, let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person you are” - Mandy Hale

You’ve got this. It doesn’t matter what others are doing, it matters what you are doing. 


Does this resonate with you? Click to pin or share one of these quote images. Your fellow boss friends might just need to read this post too.  


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